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07/03/2003 Entry: "A Sprinkler of Emo?"
 superseth |
A Sprinkler of Emo?:
Sorry if this makes no sense, I wrote it after I had already recited it all to myself in my head and so of course i forgot everything by the time I had a few sentences done which is why I want a word processor attached to my brain. I lay in bed, the cool summer air of the evening coming in through the open window to my room. The bright sun is beginning to set, bringing a calm to the heat of the afternoon. That moist feeling of mist that is not mist which comes from sprinklers floats in with the air. In my silent ponderings a memory is triggered and I recall the days when my mom would take the hose to the plants outside my old room. I had a larger room then, with more windows, and so the whole room would be filled with the smell of summer evening and the mist of the garden. Those were not the only plants she had to tend, for there were acres and acres of then, from the pines trees to the grass to the iceplant that would make snapping noises if i tried and walk on the banks. Like the iceplant I lost a harmonica in, my mom promised we would look for it when she dug it all up, but I never saw it again. Fred gave me his old one to replace it I believe, but I still remember that loss. I cry now, not because I am still missing the harmonica in the iceplant, but because here I am laying in my bed smelling the mists of a past that seems so vivid and alive, and yet totally lost. I sit here, years later, and see all that I have gained, I mean I graduated from high school, how far away now seemed from me back when I would stand atop the lightning rock and survey the houses and valley before me. As far as I have come I feel I have also lost something, lost the energy and faith I once had in myself and the world. Not all of it of course or I why would I be going to a 4 year college except out of hopes that I might one day be something to the world. But there is the difference you see, because when I could dig a mine and sail a ship through sage brush, I knew I WAS something. I hear the front door open, my mom is going outside to turn off the sprinklers, I think to myself, "no", but in a second they gurgle and stop.
Posted by superseth @ 07:08 PM PST |
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Comments! Replies: 1 Comment I know how you feel Sethy Posted by sarah @ 07/03/2003 07:53 PM PST |
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